Leaping with Faith
This week I took on a new challenge putting myself in the producing chair and also in a photo shoot I had to recreate emotion. In the photos, I had to try to convey in a certain movement a word such as desperation, faith, rejection, etc... With this shoot, it helped me to really embrace some music from scratch that I was feeling. I had a beautiful painting of the song and wanted to be able to see this piece out. I created everything from scratch and hearing what I wanted come to life. It is like a beautiful painting. The steps it takes to get to where you are going may be small or big, but they need to be yours.
I was stuck in a spot today in a song and I could easily have gotten the answer I wanted by googling it or calling upon a friend to get there quicker. Half the battle is learning how to do something and if you always take the easy route will you be as successful? I think, for myself, I retain so much more having to make mistakes and then learning what I don't want to do and what works. Then I have an answer for why I made those choices or even future ones. I can say well, I tried 233 other ways and they were too harsh or too soft and that is why I decided on this way.
I have enjoyed everything I have gained so far and I have found who I am as an artist. I think evolving into a better one is always the goal for any musician. I have chosen to be independent so far because I think that in music or any form of art you have to be able to explore and not be told what you can and cannot do until you figure that out on your own. I don't want someone to hold me back from trying a note that I might get or from adding a harmonizing layer that I just love. I think the emotion of my songs and lyrics always comes through. In 20 years will I wish I'd have changed something? I guess, maybe, but in 20 years I can look back and say look how far I have come and this is where I started.
I keep seeing artists really confined to one thing and I kind of wonder if when their contract is up that's why they shave their head or tattoo their whole body or completely do a career change. Maybe they don't know what to do if they aren't told or who they are if they aren't dressed? If art is an expression of who we are then why should we be in a mold of one things. I don't know that my music will ever reach everyone or if it did that many would love it, but I know at the end of the day I stayed true to me and that my music was a paper trail of my life at the time I wrote it and what was going on inside of me. How can anyone ever regret that? I think I would have more regret not saying how I truly felt or being forced to sing a line that is just repetitively just ignorant. Now, do I catch myself singing dumb things? Sure, but then I quickly think I'm so glad that I didn't write that.
Your music continues long after you are gone. If what I leave behind are some great lyrics that only a few hundred ever knew I'd be fine with that if it meant something to them and had emotion attached to it. So what does Indie mean to me? It means I am free to explore all the areas of music. I listen to many kinds and it has shaped the artist I am becoming. I hope putting myself out there will gain a few dedicated people that really enjoy what I am working on and that I relate to how others feel. If someone cannot put into words the sadness they feel, maybe a song I'm singing them will help them find peace. Maybe, my Sidetracked song will get them smiling with the windows down one sunny day and that is all I can hope for.